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Meltdown | arayoflight's Blog


So this past month has been up and down. filled with good times and bad
Lets start out with work : the 2 girls I work with in the office have not been speaking to me. The tension is a bit high feels like 2 against one.. I cant say that they are wrong or I'm right.. cos I could very well be the wrong one... but the thing is: I just dont know whos wrong or right... and most importantly I dont think I care too much to be their friends cos they are 2 fat  ugly beotches that I dont care to speak to outside of work. how ever i try not to let it affect my work  however , its hard as i do have to interact with them on a daily basis and  its just becoming increasingly difficult for me - My solution to that problem is to let time go by and also I find consolation in prayer... 

My contract ends in March.. next 2 weeks or thereabouts so I am either contemplating to not continue on or.. continue on and deal with the tension.  ---- but... is it really worth the stress?---- i dont know... life is so much more than letting trivial things get in the way

Problem #2  - there are 2 guys at work who like me.. they dont work on the same shift nor on the same day that the other is working . I've been friendly with the both but i am more attracted to one than the other. I dont see myself in a long term relationship with either of them tho. they are both 50 yrs old and although age shouldnt be an issue.. Its just a little too old for me.  

As for My friend who I loved very much... we'll we arent talking anymore.. We both dont contact eachother so. like i said in a previous post, Hes just a memory now. ..I still wish things could have worked out but i think the feelings between us have faded and will never be the same.

SO I possibly wont have a job by 1st March - its really sad but I'm not sure how things are going to pan out. I'm ready to run away from it all...- that alone shows alot about my character doesnt it ? -  I know , I'm weak and a coward. but thats ok. .. I'm hoping that some thing else will present itself to me where i can earn an income and learn from my job.

My boss hates me .. i am not really that great at my job either nor am i like the other girl that worked there before I came dispite shes been working 14 years with the company and I've just been there a measly 7 months..  People are so mean sometimes.... especially when it comes to work....
May be i'm a little too laid back but  I just dont see why people have to become all uptight when it comes to work

 



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