the end | arayoflight's Blog
Its the end of Yet another week
Israel is home . I was so glad to see him but I was afraid that I wouldnt have felt the same way about him before he left. My feelings were so strong for him....
Well we talked a little.. and he told me he missed me but I could tell right away that it wasnt the same,
my feelings for issy isnt as strong as it was.... my worst nightmare is coming true.
Yesterday i was over at his house and we ended up f-ukin eachother. but it was the most emotionless f-k i have ever felt with him.
sex with him was always great! now, its like any other..I've lost my attraction for him.
I could sit here and cry cos I want back what we used to have.
i feel more pain in my heart but i guess i'm ready to let go
it just wasnt meant to be.
Prior to this I havent had sex in 4 months since he left... so sex left me really sore afterwards.....
then later in the night he wanted to have sex again but after he tried. i was like no.. i cant cos i'm sore and its just going to hurt me , .... its like he doesnt even care about that,,, alll hes concerned about is getting some.
we argued about it for a while then he finally quit asking... we put back on our clothes and I ended up leaving shortly after.
i told him he was an A$$hole and that he didnt really care about me..
i apologised for calling him an A- hole before i left and hugged him
today i tried calling him cos i packed up some food for him to eat.. but his phone is off.
i suppose hes shutting me out..
i miss him , i miss the times we used to have but I guess its finally time to move on without him
i hate that this is happening to me. i hate not having him around in my life.
he was my best friend. i hate losing him
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Previous PostsFriday Night blues, posted December 13th, 2013
Update, although not much has changed, posted December 7th, 2013
DRAMA!!!!, posted April 27th, 2013
i was just about to....., posted April 17th, 2013
its the fricken weekend... cheers to that!!!, posted March 16th, 2013
A little holiday, posted February 11th, 2013
Meltdown, posted February 9th, 2013
so much has been happening, posted December 31st, 2012
now youre just somebody i used to know, posted December 1st, 2012
miss u, posted November 19th, 2012
i say i'm ready, posted November 18th, 2012
the end, posted November 18th, 2012
Period problems, posted November 11th, 2012
Sunday 4th November 2012, posted November 4th, 2012
Pain Is Just Weakness leaving the Body, posted November 3rd, 2012
Its my prerogative, posted November 3rd, 2012
I'm like a firecracker.. I make it hot, posted November 3rd, 2012
Always bring your own sunshine :), posted November 3rd, 2012
lets make the most of the night like we're gunna d!e young, posted October 12th, 2012
Friday At last, posted October 5th, 2012
The Solution, posted September 30th, 2012
wow, posted September 27th, 2012
I needed to remind myself, posted September 25th, 2012
So sick N tired, posted September 25th, 2012
i'MMA lOOKIN', posted September 24th, 2012
its just one of those days, posted September 23rd, 2012
GET EXCITED!!, posted September 22nd, 2012
What a lovely Saturday morning!!!!, posted September 22nd, 2012
Standing in the hall of fame and the worlds gunna know your name, posted September 17th, 2012
somebody stop me, posted September 9th, 2012
let me show you how to whistle baby, posted August 20th, 2012
PIssed Off, posted August 19th, 2012
Day off, posted August 15th, 2012
Good Feeling, posted August 12th, 2012
I guess, posted August 8th, 2012
starting today, posted August 7th, 2012
making the dreaded appointment, posted August 5th, 2012
Sick, posted August 4th, 2012
Contemplations, posted July 28th, 2012
rainy days can get me down..., posted July 14th, 2012
It annoys me, posted July 8th, 2012
Part the clouds .... see the way, posted July 7th, 2012
On the Flip side, posted July 4th, 2012
stupid week, posted June 23rd, 2012
home for the holiday, posted June 19th, 2012
I'm fed the FK up, posted June 16th, 2012
I'm Faded, posted June 9th, 2012
Word to yo momma, posted June 9th, 2012
I'm at a payphone trying to call home, posted June 9th, 2012
have you had, posted June 9th, 2012
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